peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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