Duck Duck Cougar?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I believe in your delicious
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
