My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
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I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
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He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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