hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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