So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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