I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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