Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
