i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
a search helicopter?!
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
