Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
