So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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