We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
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Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
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When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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