I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
