One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
