Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
