So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Your cock deserves a montage
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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