Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
