absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize