That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
