I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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