Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
