you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
