1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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