The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
