Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt

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(972): View more from Texas

So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.

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(512): View more from Texas

I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(740): View more from Ohio

becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich

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(813): View more from Florida

I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.

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(775): View more from Nevada

He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.

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