It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life