last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
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One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
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I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december