Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.