shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
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I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.