can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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