The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
