He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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