found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
