Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
