just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?