i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
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there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF