He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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