this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
me + whiskey = a bad person
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
