I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
