did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The uberlube is also flammable
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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