That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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