Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
