Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
