So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
