Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
