Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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