I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
