It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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