yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
