the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
