I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
