Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
