did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize