U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
