planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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