arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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