I want to stick my p in your. b.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
