the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
