he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Randomize
