But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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