I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
What a dumb baby whore.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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