This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
