ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize