There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
