No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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