So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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