for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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