if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
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watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
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I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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