I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
