So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize
